Have you been feeling disconnected from your partner lately? Unfulfilled in your relationship? Lackluster about wanting to spend any quality time with your significant other?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of the above, then you might be in an all too common “relationship rut.”

Truth be told, we all go through periods of disconnect at times, but if these feelings persist for weeks and months on end, it’s time to do some serious relationship inventory and make significant changes as soon as possible.

Don’t be afraid to tell your partner how you feel. He or she may be feeling the same way or feel relieved to hear your honest confession. Now it’s time to let the brainstorming begin and find ways to tackle the problem together.

There are just a few tweaks needed in order to turn things around quickly and effectively. Start utilizing these today and you’ll immediately see a big difference in your relationship.

1. Be Intentional. It would be easy to miss the signs and continue doing things for your own personal benefit. For example, filling your calendar with long days at the office and after-work activities in an effort to avoid contact with one another is a surefire way of perpetuating the discontentment. Instead of waking up with negative thoughts about your partner, choose to be intentionally positive about your relationship. Start each morning with 5 positive statements. I will appreciate…I am grateful for…I acknowledge…Then identify 5 specific ways in which you can add to the relationship for that day specifically. Maybe it’s sending a text of good luck for your spouse at work or preparing their favorite meal for dinner. In a very small way, take positive action for the sake of your relationship.
2. Express Gratitude/Appreciation. Similarly to step 1, don’t just keep your gratitude to yourself. Be over-complimentary towards your partner. Give verbal feedback about their physical appearance, recent work success or positive parenting style. We often have a lot of nice things to say about our significant other in our heads and forget to say them out loud.
3. Show Affection. When things aren’t going well, the idea of touching your partner in any way might make you cringe, but physical touch of any kind makes us all feel more intimate, connected and happy. You don’t have to go from A to Z in a heartbeat, but rubbing your partner’s shoulder or grabbing their hand as you walk by is an important step to feeling less disengaged and more open to fixing your current circumstances.
4. Invest Today for the Long Term. Small things everyday make a world of difference, but think bigger than that too. We want to be aligned and on the same path as our significant other. We want to know that our partner still shares our same vision, life dreams and goals. Find ways to support one another today that makes a big impact for the relationship long term. By doing this, you start to shift gears and remember your life-long commitment to one another.
5. Do An Activity Together. Finding common ground can be difficult, but pursuing something together helps clear the slate. Whether it’s an activity that you both enjoyed doing in the past or a new hobby, commit to spending time together as friends. Your friendship is the secret weapon that gets you through the hard times.
6. If you’ve mentally fallen out of your relationship, you’ve lost your friendship. In order to find a more fulfilling, connected and happy relationship, find your friendship. Your friendship is a reminder that you’re in this for the long haul.